On a humid Saturday evening in Mumbai wishing for it to rain I sat staring at the orange sky. I asked her, “Rain today, Will you?” She sent a thunder, a dusty wind and I continued sitting on the couch with sweat glistening my forehead… Sudden aloud gigs from the other end of the room break my intimate talks with the sky. My equally jobless brother continued his laughter staring at the Smartphone. And guess what? I wasn’t surprised at all like any other abnormal 21st Century being. People staring at the mobile screens and pouring their reactions and expressions freely on its face isn’t an absurdity anymore.
But his laughter captured our attention as much as he needed it to. My mom came all the way from the kitchen leaving the dinner preparation half way & the fishes in salt! He looked at us and told us not to check the church WhatsApp group. And I genuinely have a greater interest if it’s a ‘Divine Comedy’. Ah! I was now wondering what face of spiritual thing it is. Till then he told me that Uncle Bobby sent a porn video into the group. Aghast! Before I started my share of laughter I asked emphasizing on two key words, Bobby uncle & Porn video? He by his Sunday spiritual performances on stage (altar) and off stage (all other times) made the community to feel of him like the second Christ. I was curious, Oh come on I didn’t download the video but the comments that followed it. I read them with enough gig for every oldies “What on earth is this sort of video- comments.” AS IF! But Uncle Bobby became the bread & wine for the next day’s communion. He had a good set of excuse calling it a bad tap to the wrong group. What now, his moral certificate was already erased and people had certified him as the dirty person and the youth had labeled him as the new naughty uncle.
I have sympathies for him for a man of this distinct multi faces. But I was glad for a fact that in the ways the religious wannabes describe the youngsters these days. Asking parents to be careful of what their kids watch secretly on phones sitting alone in locked rooms. Now I guess it’s their unfortunate circumstances of past which didn’t give them so much privacy like now that make them lash out at the present generation. Sometimes I guess we don’t need to give “moral” of the story to incidences like these, it’s just “Enough Said!”
She sits beside me on a chair, when I’m making those journeys happen. The ones I dreamt, to distant lands to explore and create memories for a lifetime. She’s closer to me than realities I watch around, all I could do is leave her unattended for a time I feel I’m contented enough. As the humpy bumpy road of life moves ahead all light. She stares at me from the corners; her interests do not appeal mine. Yeah, the lady called death I heard she travels soul to sole with us. She transforms those stares to smirks, grins & smiles. I say, am not ready. She stays away for a while just with an alarming reminder, we live only ones. “This” time and “That” moment can never be brought back.
Death, when you are abrupt that’s the one which scares me to live. When you do not visit the complaining, hundred and counting and strike at an infant instead, the one whose smile its parents haven’t yet cherished and celebrated enough. All I could say is I hate your surprises. Leaving some chapters plain in the book called life, how would you make me do that. Without giving the home called world enough to remember me. I would drift away like a breeze that failed to bring a chill. I’ve heard the death of many heroes, some I’ve seen and some not. But in common, there was a lot more they all wished to play in the roles of a father, mother, and sister and in all those prototype of relationships.
Death is uninvited and inevitable; you can’t simply turn your face off it. Even to the philosophy that urges us to live each moment to the fullest, we know this contradiction that life attracts life, beautifully, enormously and endlessly. You can never have enough of it.
Finally you’ll strike down at me too. Guess what am not alone, with me there’ll be all those sorrys and goodbyes I failed to tell seeking for an appropriate time. Oh that Love which was an elixir, turns all pointless and arrows at me. Why didn’t you reveal it earlier? I believed in secretly cherishing my feeling but you lady, I remorse why I didn’t celebrate my love enough. Only death questions my freedom of how I chose to live. However everything will sleep forever with us in the same grave. Even then I promise to embrace you the most courteous way. On a fine night or not, with my last blink I wish to only have glad memories as my last sight.
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